so i feel like its that time to rant again. Am usually a happy person, like to keep to myself alot but am pretty social when i want to. so lately am just frustrated. you know when u sit alone and so many thoughts start flooding in. truth be told there are times death is better than staying on earth alive. so many hardships, disappointments, confusion. abit much! my mum always said i was too mature for my age.at age 7 i remember worrying for my mum whether she would pay the bills . still do. i wonder why we think the grass is greener on the other side probably because you think u can handle the grass. If only i cud find God's office i wud book an appointment for consultation(actually there is a song about this) anyway i wud have so many questions for him. i still ask though i guess i need to build my faith a bit more. I shouldnt doubt bt i cnt help it. There are days i wish i dont wake up and others where i cant wait to wake up. people come to me for advice and prayer bt i dnt have anyone to share that with .y because i dnt trust people. been hurt alot of times and the idea of sharing a problem with someone who never gives a solution is not worth it or doesnt seem to care. i dnt judge anyone because i wudnt want to be judged, God is the judge.sometimes all i want is a hug or to go away far away and just travel and see the world and the people in it, i think i wud feel much better and i wudnt have the time to feel sorry for myself. thats just me….. complicated.
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wow tech, i think i shud do that. just go wea i want and not think about it. i do alot of voluntary work now that i dnt have a job bt i feel bad that people are spending money while we work for free so selfish. im usually quite busy bt nw i guess am free alot. so i go for walks and television.
heheh on masturbation ; it wont work because of my beliefs. not to seem holier than though im just not into it.