So, this is new for me. I had a really bad year, 2019 knocked the wind out of me. For some reason I thought that 2020 would magically solve all my problems but I was wrong. I tested out of high school, because school was terrible for me but I had a job that I loved working with kids so I had some form of human interaction, and then I overdosed and the PTSD and recovery took over my everything and I lost my job. My grandmother was just diagnosed with ALS and dementia and she used to be my best friend and I really haven’t been able to process anything but all I know is that seeing her with that glaze over her eyes makes me feel helpless. I spend all my time alone, I have ruined all of my opportunities to get a job because I know deep down that I am not ready to work again, but I need money and I need something to do. I have little to no inspiration because my thought process likes to shoot down any semblance of hope or happiness as quickly as it can. I have a best friend who I plan on moving with when I turn 18 but we don’t really see each other very often because she is still in school. So i’m lonely at home dealing with my brain with no friends and two dogs who just want some sleep (which I get, I mean its my bad for staying up till 4 am every morning) anyways, I hope that someone out there is listening because I could use some friends right now. Okay well bye.