How do you enjoy your dream job and a new condo when all you feel is loneliness and sadness inside your heart? When left alone, all I have are worst-case scenario thoughts inside my head. I should be happy and thankful for what I have – but I'm struggling.

I don't want to be living my life alone.

For 4.5 years I invested my love into his heart

Until he gets financiallly stable and develops his career – we shall remain separated (3 months and counting…)

I need him (my best friend) in my life to share the every day experiences of my life with someone – but he made my heart hurt, really bad.

How do you decide to live with someone, leave the country for a month due to work, and then come back to pack your stuff and move out into your friend's basement (Thank goodness you were faithful) – Leaving me in the city all by myself with a rodent infested apartment?

And you wonder why I am so emotionless, angry all the time, have a ton of hatred towards you and find it extremely difficult to say the words I love you…

Thankfully my parents rescued me and helped me find a nice new condo to live in –

I hate feeling unhappy, lonely and sad every single day.

But I still have no friends in this city.

I eat, sleep & breathe loneliness. I'm drowning and can't catch my breath….

This was not how I envisioned living my life.

Once upon a time you rescued me from evil and now you have become that exact evil.

We're trying to remain friends and mend our relationship, but when we're apart, all I feel is resentment towards you – but you already know that. I hate bringing it up and I apologize for the constant guilt – but I am just so damaged by your actions. You took away my hopes and dreams – but most importantly, my smile.

Every day I wake up, go to work, come home, sleep – and repeat this 5 days a week. Every day comes and goes by so quickly that I can't even stop to smell the roses…The last 9 months have been nothing but a blurr of misery.

1 Comment
  1. Sully33 10 years ago

    you sound like a really good writer! and i know heartbreak.. its the worst..

    0 kudos

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