Well. I read two blogs today and it seems that the general mood is much like the weather today GRAY and solemn. For me I just got done trying to pay my monthly bills. What has to get paid is MUCH grater that what I have. I started getting angry and going to that place in my mind that is dark and negative. It’s funny in a way that I’m worrying about paying bills for things that many, many people don’t have and probably wish they had a bill for things like a house, gas, electricity, health insurance and food. My daughter barrowed my wife’s car a few days ago and ran over a piece of metal in the road and put a hole in the gas tank. I just got off the phone with my mechanic and the bill is a little over $400.00. My daughter is 21 a very good person in collage and working when she can. She’s becoming a nurse. Her car just died because of the transmission that’s why she needed ours. She wants to pay for it. I stopped and reminded my self where my life was a little over two years ago. My house was being foreclosed. I had no car to lend my daughter if she needed it. Both my oldest kids had nothing good to say about me. I gave them nothing but pain and grief. I was out of work and my wife was going to food pantries just to keep us fed. I need to remember that I woke up clean today and the desire to use again was replaced with the desire to stay clean. And the desire not to smoke. (can’t forget that). I need to remember that my plans for my life and the plans that the GOD of my understanding has at many times is two different things. The end is the same, for me to be happy and loved and to love others. It’s just the path on how I get there is different. So again the weather outside is rainy and gray but the weather on the inside ! SUNNY and WARM with the hope of a rainbow ! My prayers are with you all !
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