Since I've changed my attitude, I've been feeling so much better….but I noticed there is one place where I am truly tested. Work. More specifically ~ my supervisor.
In the six years I have been there, she has seriously tested my patience. I've caught her in many lies. Lies she's told coworkers and lies she's told me. I once confronted her, she became very defensive and the discussion turned into an argument. I almost walked out but the counselor pulled me aside and calmed me down. I reacted to her negativity. We had a conversation and worked it out. But she continues to lie, micro manage, nit pick, make snide remarks to me (she loves doing that) but I try my damndest not to react.There's a lot she's done in the past years which has made me resent her. Especially the lies. I hate liars! I seriously think lying is second nature to her. She can't seem to stop lying! She loves using the COO's name to hide what she wants done.She once told me the COO wanted to speak with me because there was a complaint of coworkers stopping by my office to talk. I would see the COO but wouldn't say anything. Until one day,I approached him and asked him. He said she had spoken to him about coworkers stopping by my office but she would take care of it. He flat out said if he wanted to speak with me, he would. I then spoke to him about my concerns with her. He listened. He understood. The good thing is that he had told me if I ever needed anything, to speak with him. That was a conversation I have not told my supervisor about so everytime she says he's "concerned" or "bothered" by something I have or have not done, I know she's lying to my face. I've thought about quitting plenty of times but I do need a paycheck.
This is where I must change my attitude. This is my test. I'm going to continue applying for other jobs but in the meantime~ I'm going to see the positive side of work. I'm going to smile more. Do my job with a pep in my step. Not allow her negativity to affect me any longer. I'm going to show myself that I can be happy in any negative situation.
I had to type this out….she does irritate the hell out of me. No one has ever made me feel this way butI'm going to prove to myself that I can be the better person and rise above all this….all the while, praying for a job interview!!