so tired of dealing with my ocd. i have to eat the same thing everynight out of fear i wont sleep and its making my body physically sick. i have to go to bed at a certain time..i pretty much timed it on the second all out of this ridiculous fear that if i dont do these things i wont sleep and i wont wake up the time that i want to. ive been doing this for a few years now and its wearing me out. i have days where i get better and then i just fall apart again. when i eat dinner i feel sometimes if i dont eat enough i wont sleep so then i just overeat and gain a few pounds. sucks because i worry about my weight and my ocd is preventing me from losing weight because then i overeat just because im paranoid i wont sleep. sounds stupid i know yet i cant stop. my sleep would never of been a problem if i never tried that horrible geodon drug..totally messed my sleep up for good and made me paranoid even though im not on it anymore. my whole life revolves around the clock and time. i have to touch everything twice and in pairs. ive started to really hate being around people and feel like im being judged to the point where i dont even like most people because they cant relate to me. its hard at work when im around alot of people and i have to hide my ocd. life just sucks and lately i escape reality by reading fantasy books, watching movies, music, video games..anything thats fantasy i just dive into and i end up getting bored with everyday life. i dont know im weird and beyond frustrated with this crap