so tired but i can't fall asleep struggling alot. i dont know what to do,

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Again, AGAIN i was betrayed by a friend who I thought would never do that to me. so now I know i with certian I can't trust anyone.

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not family. not friends, not God.

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i

m alone and I have to guard myself against everything.

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Just got done with a huge half-assed intervention with my family because my friend was 'worried' (bullshit) and ratted me to my brother.

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FUCK HER. I have no friends at this point. I should have known better.

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Fuck her, Fuck my family, Fuck everyone. I'm done even trying to keep realtionships alive.

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whats the point? if I was hanging with a noose and they had the chance to save me or save themselves- they'd save themselves.

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i'm done with my fucking mother, who thinks she knows everything but DOESN'T, she's the biggest hypocrite i've ever met. and my hatered for her grows each day.

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my brother is a wet match in a paper bag,, he's uselss.

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and my dad tried to act like he knows everything and how to fix it but he's the worst of all. he's never in the loop. he's to consumed by his own problems.

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i'm alone. and i'm going to die alone. that simple.

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there is nothing to this world, nothing for me to offer. mom says to stop being angry at God, but i've been SO, SO faithful for him for years. it's this past year i started to falter and since then…

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I feel abandoned, left to hang in my own noose and like he just doesn't give a shit. I'm trying I really am, but I just can't find that love and faith I used to have for him.

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I'm a disgusting piece of shit who deserves to end up burning in hell.