Well of course it never fails that I wind up venting in one of my blogs this soon but sorry it's gonna happen.
As far as I know, everyone has their own way of getting clean and staying that way, so DO NOT put me down for my way of doing so. So fucking what if I need a medication to help me with the problem. Just because you were able to get clean cold turkey doesn't mean I had the pain tolerance to and doesn't make you better than me, not in the slightest. The most important thing is that I got clean, I'm staying that way, and I don't need someone telling me that I didn't do it "the right way" and that I'm not really clean. It makes me mad and frustrated, but you know what, I didn't do this to make YOU happy. I didn't do this to make YOU proud. And I certainly didn't do this to get YOUR APPROVAL. So if you have that big of a problem talking to me or being around me just because I'm on methadone, then don't.
On a little lighter note, I have a question/responsive statement. When I started getting clean, I pretty much cut everyone off from me except my family. Friends and my connections that is. One, I didn't want anything to do with my connections anymore. Second, I didn't want my friends to see me going through my transistional period. Well now that my transistional period is over, and it has been for a while now, I'm basically only in contact with two of my friends. They know about my problem and are very supportive. My other friends basically don't have anything to do with me. Some of them know what's going on, some don't. What I wanna know is, was I wrong to shut everyone on out of my life for this period? Am I wrong to be ashamed? Let me know what you think.
Live above the habit!
as an addict who has been clean for almost 21 years how you want to kick dope is your business and your sponsors business. in the time i have been clean i have had 21 surgeries and still have to take medication to this very day. i am also an insulin dependant diabetic, bi-polar , i suffer from PTSD. i have had 2 heart attacks and 3 heart operations in the past 3 years. it' states in chapter ten of the BAsic text of NA that in times of illness as long as we take the medicine as it is prescribed by a Dr. then that is allright. i take ten pills a day just to pretty much keep me alive. if anybody has a [problem with that fuck them.
now for true friends after i got clean i only had 2. it seemed that after i got clean all the friends i thought i had became aquaintenances. one has been my friend for 48 years and the other for 29 years. sure i have a lot of recovery friends but that is what we want in our lives. people we can love and trust. stay clean and be good to yourself. take it from an old doper get off the methadone. put trust in God and the program to get you through the pain. but you do what you have to, so you can move forward in your journey of recovery.
A brother in recovery,
JJ
If standing naked on a bridge is what a doctor says to do about physical withdrawals or whatever then I would do it.. Don't know anything about it but seems that is the normal course for opiate withdrawal??..
Point is no one has the right to come between you and your doctor on what is best for your body.. So, hope I didn't offend you because I think you happen to be doing the right thing… Getting sober is about steps toward a new life.. Is this just not a step in the better direction?… As for your friends? If they are true friends then they will return in time as you journey in sobriety.. However, you may find out that as you grow and change they are not part of your life anymore.. There will be a host of new friends and this is a period of recovery just like a physical illness.. So distance from some people may actually be very healthy.. You never have to be ashamed to do what is right for yourself and your sobriety… JMO
Take care and keep comming back.. Karen
i think that we all have been through exactly the same things you are. i was asked to leave the damn sight because i was so bitter and i was welcomed back to wide open arms. it was not fun losing everyone and i mean i cut out every single person but my parents and daughter i lost every physical thing i owned but the clothes off of my back, that's why i came onto this site and it has been nearly my only means for support,
yeah, i'm one of your cold turkey quitters but that's because i had to- the police confiscated my scripts and my methadone and my doctor stopped practising to get refills, i don't want to preach or bitch about it because it WAS the hardest thing of my life and still is. three weeks later i'm going on meds and getting my daily drinks back because YES THIS SUCKS. do it, do whatever you need to. you are still clean and i'm proud of you i hope i'm not coming off as mean or rude. to you but that's just my opinion love it or leave it i don't give a fuck. what i do give a fuck about is both you and i and everyone here KEEPS COMING BACK.
much love,
machina