When i was about 11 my depression was the worse it could ever be.I didn’t want to get close to anybody because i didn’t want to be hurt and it kinda seemed like death just followed me around when i started cutting at first i did it so i could focus on a different kind of pain other than the pain on the inside and then it was like i was addicted to it i went on doing this for a couple of years and nobody said anything but then one night i just couldn’t take it anymore and i just cut and cut but then i was careless because i heard someone coming so i just threw the knife behind my shelf and apparently they heard it bang and then i got in a really big fight with my family and that day i was already having a hard time so i went and took a whole bottle of prescription medicine and then i ran out of the house and it was really cold that night i had a t-shirt and shorts on and that was all i went and ran into some woods near my house and just sat there and cried then they called the police and the police where looking for me and to be honest i was asked if i saw them looking for me and i didn’t cause the meds started to kick in and i was so dizzy and i wanted to just close my eyes and sleep but somehow i got the strength to walk back to my house i didnt even know if i was gonna make it through the door but i did and when i saw my mom i just broke down i said sorry so many times that night but when i first said it she shook her head i thought she wasn’t going to listen but then she grabbed me at first i flinched but all she did was hold me and we cried then they had to take me to the hospital to get my stomach pumped then i went to a different hospital and i stayed their awhile.Sometimes i feel lost and i just think how it could have been different if i wasn’t ever born i cause so much pain in my parents lives but they still stay i cant help thinking how they deserve better than me.I use to stay in my room for up to a week at a time and not because im mad or anything its just what i do but then when im alone i start to over think and that’s when i just get so confused and i don’t know what to do.I don’t mean to tell you more of my life story but it feels good to let it out and finally feel like you can breath once again.