It feels like every night I cry myself to sleep. It became a thing. The past week I haven’t done it and I’ve been bottling up my emotions because I was with family and I didn’t want them to see me cry like I want no one to see me cry. What if I just disappear? Would anyone care? Would people cry? Would I be happy ? Probably but that’s only me. I feel as though I’m lost in a world I don’t know like I traveled through time and space and now I’m here. In a word of hate and love. Pain and suffering. Men and women. When I was little I thought everything was perfect as though life was just like a fairytale and my prince/princess was waiting for me and it would turn out. Now I realize that life isn’t perfect we all have ups and downs some downs are lower and some ups are higher and I’m at a pretty big low in my life right now. Think of disappearing seems right but I can’t do that and I know I can’t disappear or run away. The feeling is so strong. I want to just stay in bed all day and not go out side or do anything. 

Well bye I guess no one probably read this