I have this friends I haven't talked to in like three weeks and it makes me bummed. It wouldn't be so bad if we didn't usually talk almost constantly. I don't even know why. At first I was giving her some space because she had some family stuff going on but now, I don't know. I know it would be easy as hell to text or send an email but I can't. I don't like engaging the communications first if we had just talked yesterday. I don't know. Maybe she just doesn't want to talk anymore. It just kind of sucks. I don't really have many friends. There's only one person I talk to on any sort of regular basis and that's mostly through texts. He lives in Ireland. Since I got a new phone it refuses to let me send him a text. I could with my old phone so I don't know what the problem is. Doesn't help that my brain is starting to fly like a million miles a minute. Stupid hearing thing is on Wednesday. Wednesday! How the hell did it get so close already?! My aunt thinks it's humorous and that it'll help my case because of how nervous I already am and am going to be. I don't think it's funny at all. If I had to choose I'd rather not feel spazzed out and they turn me down than the other way around. Of course the closest I've come to telling anyone about any of this is mentioning to my cousin about how close it was. God, I'm a loser. Unfortunately when I get nervous I get restless. And that makes me slightly hyper. I have nothing to do with any of that energy. I feel like I'm going to explode. I have no idea what I'm thinking because everything goes by too fast. I miss the good old days of not caring so much about everything, when my biggest problem was what they might be serving for lunch.

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