Having lost so many family & friends in my life-i am now finding it harder to get close to anyone.I guess this stems from experiencing loss over n over again.My fear is to dye alone,but as i am not even on HAART meds yet as my cd4 R above 500 i am sure i have alittle while yet!I have been searching online for love,& have met many beautifull peoples  & like to meet new folks from dif backgrounds & cultures.I am also into history=herstory-architecture,making video's,riding anything that moves,sunsets & sunrises & most importent here,beautifull woman!i consider the female form art & like seeing beautifull woman in beautifull clothes,especially ones that bring out the female form.I am tired of being alone,living alone.Going to bed alone…i am coming off of methadone & maybe its better that i am alone during this long stretch ahead!Not going to be fun thats fer sure!Methadone is one of the MOST addictive substances known to man-& i find it harder to come off of then heroin or speed!I am soo glad i am still clean after 4 yrs!Yes i smoke weed tohelp me eat & to fight off the nasea i feel every morning.but truth be told i have always liked smokin pot as it settles me down ,makling me less stressed out .This is very importent for persons that R poz=less stress=longer life!I need a partner that likes to take strolls holding hands…believes in JC & Jehova GOD & End Times or NOT!But it would nicer if we shared common interests.Outreach is tonight…keeps be busy nways i need the community hours to get over that probation stip.& only have 40 left to go!Nways i am still searching for a female partner in my life,only i dont seem to be lookin very hard,& the methadone has alot to do with it as i have little sex drive.Thats changing=THANK GOD!!!As i am on a declining slope i am finding the lower i go the more "energetic" i feel.Now i dont have a GF. so its ok,but wat about wen i get off>?(methadone)I will be a  very horney person!TThe idea of going through life alone is not an appealing prospect for me.Being HIV+ ,i try to get that outta the way first thing,if they stay good if they dont ,ohwell.Most of the time they don't stay & make excuses to leave at the first chance they find.They need to be educated on it better i think.


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