I had a major breakthrough yesterday. It sounds like such a small thing to have accomplished but in my world it feels like I moved a mountain. My anxiety has been getting increasing worse over the past few years. My anxiety attacks were making themselves known. In the middle of a staff meeting when being asked a question, my mind froze, my heart raced, hands trembled, and sweat began pouring off of my body. Enough so that everybody at my table knew something was wrong. I teach and there have been many days where I had to hide from my students and let my para take over because I was so worked up that I couldn’t do my job. I had 4 big attacks in one day because I was going camping with some new friends. 4 before we even made it to the campsite. My relationship is being affected. Simple dates never happen because I panic when having to choose what to wear. Too many days where I have to stop what I am doing when out in public to sit in my car with A/C full blast trying to remind my body that it is capable of breathing. I have known that something is wrong for awhile. But I panic just googling doctors in my area. It escalates until I have to close my browser and just cry. I have been trying to make a doctors appointment for years now and have never made it past holding my phone…..but yesterday I finally did it! I probably lost a gallon of sweat. I couldn’t remember my address but I pushed through and have set up an appointment. Even though the people around me can’t understand how incredibly difficult that feat was for me it feels amazing to know that I am strong enough. That I can push through. Even if it takes a whole day to recover. I DID IT.