Growing up mom constantly accused me of having sex. Everyone thought I was scared of boys. I was molested and raped from 5-17. I met my first boyfriend he was tall nice body ver attractive, but also hard core. I cried he wiped my eyes. I went on my first date. He took me to the park and pushed me on the swings. he told me he would marry me one day. I was 18 I thought he was 27. We had sex. I asked do you have condom. He said your fine, I cant have kids and dont have anything. I trusted and put all my trust in this guy after all. he had been there for me all summer. I started getting morning sickness uh oh. Im suppose to leave for college soon, how do I tell mom? I talk to my mom she told me I needed to leave him and have an abortion! ABORTION??? We dont believe in that. I left and went to stay with him at his sisters to my surprise. He has 4 daughter is going threw a divorce oh and by the way 32. Uh Oh! What have I done I really didnt know this guy! Thoughts of all the ppl he said he was sleepinhg with after we had sex the first time came to my mind. I pushed it far back. I decided to get us our own place so I went around looking for places. I found a place for us to move when I was 5 months moving day he took me to his moms. One day I decided to surprise him and meet him at his place after work. I sat on the steps for hours finally I heared him walk in the buliding and heard a female voice with him. He came up the stairs I just walked out. At that momment I decided to go to move away. I went to my aunts nd started to get pre natal care one of the test was for hiv so yes I took it no big deal. I signed the papers not a second call a few days later I got a call to come in. I knew at that moment The Nurse told me I staired in shock. when she handed me the papers to look they asked me how many partners. I said 1 they said well he must really be sick because your viral load is very high. I called my 2 Aunts they came and the nurse told them. I went home and called him he told me I'm wrong the doctors are wrong. Why would I let ppl just poke and stick me (he knew all along?) He called me a hour later and said he knew someone that took the test then, they checked again it was negative (was this his ex) Is that why they broke up and he tried to hurt her bf she was cheating with. l called his mother since it seemed like denial. The thing is he passed 7 years later and got remarried so she only cared about his life not anyone elses. Well if you are new to this just now you can start a new life. The world is not over. Its just diffrent
AustinWesley, , HIV or Aids, Anger, Anxiety, Career, Child, Depression, Grief, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Parenting, PTSD, Questions, Relationships, Schizophrenia, Sex Therapy, Stress, Weight Loss, 1
I was inspired by the other blog poster who posted today. I'd written this one last year for Aids...
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