My current girl boss offered to take me to lunch.That was really nice of her.I turned her down.Said I was too busy.I do have work to do, but I also don’t have the heart to tell her it would just be weird/awkward.I don’t want her spending her money on that kind of lunch.She doesn’t get paid for lunch anymore than I do – why should either of us have to sit through awkwardness and discomfort and guilt because of feeling that way?Bah humbug, I say.Secondly, I enjoy spending my unpaid lunch time doing my own thing – like reading (which I don’t get to do much of at home with my pre-schooler running around).Finally, and most importantly, I guess I just don’t want to let myself get as close to anyone I work with – especially if they’re a boss – as I let myself get to S and A.Never again.The firm mentality of all of us staff being one big team is probably the healthiest way to approach things. No one is permanent or unreplaceable.

What’s the firm in general doing for staff?A WEEK NIGHT baseball game.And we all have to come in the next day – and on time.Yuck!!!I opted out of that, too.I don’t like baseball, I don’t enjoy watching it, it’s crappy weather today/tonight, the game is at an outdoor stadium, and I see enough of my co-workers during normal business hours.I’d rather spend my unpaid Wednesday evening with my family.I could probably have brought myself to do a Friday evening game or something – but not a week night.

I’ve never been one of those people who can flit around and socialize with everyone she encounters.I used to envy the ones who could but now I realize I’m not missing anything.Sure, I can be civil and polite but I can’t sit there and chit-chat about lives I don’t really give a crap about when I know that, deep down, they don’t really give a crap about mine, either.I know that sounds harsh but it’s true.That’s the world we live in.People don’t care about each other.It’s all about superficial niceness and playing games against people behind their backs.The few people I consider friends have earned that honor by taking the time to see the castle behind the muddy moat.

So I hate this day.It celebrates everything I hate about the "real" world.Maybe next year I’ll feel differently.But I doubt it.