I know i havent been on in a while.

I have an 8 month old son who everyday is doing something different, getting more and more handsome and who's smile just melts my heart! i feel like I am having a delayed reaction to I dont want to say post pardum. But I have been feeling really overwhelmed lately. We have had some stressers I mean who hasnt in this economy! I just feel like everthing is catching up to me now. The one thing I get anxious starts a snowball effect. I think this stems from since I can back to work, obviously I miss my little guy during the day. I afraid that I am going to miss something with him changing so much. And I feel guilty if I go out with my hubby without him. I feel like I am trying to make up for the time I am not with him. Now I have a WONDERFUL sitter she is the best and when we have gone out my mom has watched him for me.Logically I know this is crazy. He knows I am mommy and I am here for him and there to love him. And I am working on that. My husband is the best. He tries so hard to help me out by talking out the anxiety with me and talking about why I may feel like that. My Dr has said from the start that I don't handle life change very well. And I know I don't! And I get like this once a year maybe other times when I start to feel crappy I can talk myself down. But now I think its affecting my sleep. I am tired all the time.

I HATE ANXIETY/DEPRESSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It sucks! I know this will pass, and I try to talk myself down and sometimes it works other times it doesnt. I was suppose to see my dr last week but I had to reschedule and dont go for a few weeks. I only see her 2wice a year now. the last time my son was like a month and half only and I wasnt even thinking about going back to work yet.

Anyway thank you all for listening!! i hope I didnt bore u!