Every night, mostly, Is a constant struggle of intrusive thoughts, I am afraid of why we breathe, I am scared to stop breathing and then my heart palpitations react and I get a panic attack and believe in my thoughts, then I get light headed and scared. Before I go to sleep, I drink a Lemon Balm or St.Johns Wort tea, trying to not rely on it every night unless my situation is severe which the tea helps me get a good rest and soothes my mind. At night the weirdest images and thoughts come in my head, I try breathing techniques yet…it comes back again, throbbing my brain, my life, I feel paralyzed and out of body experiences, sometimes my arms and hands feel like they arent attached to me like a psychotic illusion! So I come online to forget about it and knowing I dont sleep until 1:30 or 2 a.m.Truly sometimes I am afraid. But I am happy to know I am not alone and everyone else on this site has different problems and we can all be there to help each other. It’s a good feeling to write down well…type how you feel before going to sleep. Sometimes the bed is my happiest place, I can’t walk in stores half the time and my work is a store and its hard, sometimes I can’t breathe then I know my thoughts come back and I want to go home, but I suffer through it and at the end am happy I made it through another day, I love to sleep but I’m scared to sleep. I’m scared of a lot of things, but that’s what OCD is an I am not ashamed of it. Neither is it something to be proud of, but not ashamed of it.