Wow… I never blogged before. Ever.
Ah well, first time for everything! =D

Seriously though, reading what I have, feeling like I do, and thinking as I think, I've come to this conclusion: I need freakin' help. I've been having this problem for over and year and it's getting no better. At some point I did finally crack and tell my parents about it. I thought they would understand and see what they could do for me, but it hasn't happened.

I think they think it's a phase teenagers go through, but how many teens seriously consider terrible things? I tried telling them repeatedly that I'm not a happy camper, but they just don't listen. I've been told I need to go to a doctor and see if anything can be done for me, but when my parents are told that, it's like it goes in through one ear and out the other. I've told them about….. What? 8 times already that I'm not happy with how my life is going? It also sucks that they put too much work-load on me. I do about 97% of the housework when I have 2 other siblings perfectly capable of doing something, I have a baby brother to look after where everyone else could help too, and they're always lying to me and trying to take my friends away by making them out as bad people. They even called my boyfriend an idiot when I was clearly in a bad mood!

I wanna go to a doctor or something before I get mega-suicidal thoughts again. Is it so wrong to just want to get out of the house for a while and see if that might cheer me up a little? Is it so wrong to ask to make myself better? Is it so wrong to wanna chuck something out the window?

*sigh* How do I make them see I'm not okay…?