well today it was another day….not so good not so bad…I just hate myself today because I DON'T HAVE ENERGY…that happens often I 'm always tired,out of energy even when I'm not working..that's hurt me because my 4 yrs old son is a healthy boy full of energy and he need's me..he wants me…it just stronger than me…I know what I need to do but I JUST CAN'T and I don't know why everything is so hard…?! 🙁 all I want is stay in my bed everyday and all day if I could..but I go work 10 hrs a day (wich is already a challenge for me) I work in a fast food restaurant as a manager..deal with people…be around people…talk to people and that's bother me…I feel unpatience..I feel I want to cry just little a little stupid girl 🙁 …I just feel that I don't have enough AIR….God knows how much I miss my old times that I was so happy,positive and full of energy..working out everyday…enjoying my time with my son….enjoying spending time with friends….today I want to avoid all this..my friends thinks that I'm bad friend but I don't feel like tell them what's going on…I'm sure they won't understand…no one does..not even my fiance 🙁 so I'm just a lazy ,negative and weird girl….:( I just wish things was different….most of the people out there are unable to understand my situation 🙁 that's makes me feel so lonely..insecure and afraid of everything…my anxiety is hurting me so much and physically as well…I feel traped in a big dark hole that I can't get off and no one can see me there!!!! if I yell they will ignore me…so I have to hold myself….it's so complicated that I got confuse with myself…I'm feel so weak 🙁 I'm losing my strenght…I don't want to lose because I have a son..but I can't help it 🙁 how long more I have to live with this.?I'm afraid about life…:(

1 Comment
  1. Lamia 11 years ago

    I understand how you feel. I have little engergy too any my 6 year old son is Autistic and needs a lot of attention. It is very hard but you have to keep going for your son. Wanting to stay in bed all day does not sound like anxiety to me though it sounds like depression. You need a break. If you have friends or family around that you trust your son with I would take a weekend or even just day and just sleep. Do nothing else but sleep. Get some nice tea, drink it, take a multiviamin before going to bed and sleep. Sometimes that's all it takes. But you do need to see the doctor. He/She can prescribe something that will make you feel better. You are already doing well in the fact that you are seeking support for the way that you feel and that is through the tribe. Good for you!


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