Hi to all,

What do you call someone who hides the "drugs" that make them feel better, can't remember where they put them, and is doing the ritual tearing apart the house to find them?

Me.

I feel so DUHM! I've been on Xanax 1mg. for about a month now and they have changed alot for me. Unfortunately, my husband is also on the 1/2 mg. I promised the DR. that I wouldn't give him any of mine, but, good little coenabler  that I am,….

So, at some point in my daily insanity, I put them somewhere where I didn't have to worry about  whether he was taking them or not and now I can't find them. I've been having garage sales every weekend, and I've got boxes, and stuff everywhere. I imagine myself saying, "Oh, I'll put them here where he'll never look", like a pot or a jar, and selling it to somebody. Or it's in the garbage, or a raccoon took it, or, or, or, Damn! I think that I would be ok, but my husband is worrying about running out, sound familiar?, and I am panicking seriously.  I keep telling him they'll show up and I believe they will, but his fear is driving me crazy.

 I've been doing alot of letting go. I have my treasures out in the garage for sale, after having come to terms with letting them go, and NOBODY WANTS THEM! I've been dealing with it by almost giving things away, especially to the people that I know appreciate them, and those that really need them…

I finally got back to the site yesterday and read some good stuff. I know that talking and listening to y'all helps me, but then I sit here thinking that I need to do this or that, cause I've got to FIX this situation, knowing that I can't, but that as long as I keep moving, nothing can catch me. Then I read someone else's blog, have the nerve to answer as if I know what the heck is going on, feel guilty that I think I'm so mucking fuch, and quit writing. Now, I'm starting to shake, and my head is filling up with have to do's and what I didn't do's that I can't sit still. And these sentences are getting longer and longer, so, 

Adieu Dear Friends, Adieu,

Time to open the shop! 

Love and Peace,

Demi