THE N A BASIC TEXT DEFINES INSANITY AS "DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS" WELL I SUFFER FROM INSANITY IN ONE MAIN AREA OF MY LIFE TODAY AND NEED SOME SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO GET RELIEF FROM IT……..

 I AM A SINGLE MALE AND THE LONIENESS  IS STARTING TO AFFECT MY ATTITUDE. I FIND MYSELF GETTING ANGERY TOWARDS CERTIAN PPL IN THE FELLOWSHIP. MAINLY THE PPL WHO USE THE FELLOWSHIP AND A HUNTING GROUND FOR THIER SEXUAL NEEDS RATHER THAN DOING WHAT ITS MEANT FOR (HELPING THE STILL SUFFERING ADDICT). 

 HERS MY MALFUNCTION…… I HAVE KNOWN SOMEONE FOR ABOUT A YR NOW, SHE IS ONE OF THE CLOSEST PPL TO ME IN MY NETWORK, I CAN TALK TO HER ABOUT ANYTHING AND NOT BE JUDGED AND OR FEA REJECTION. I ALSO ACCEPT HER NOT SUGAR COATING SHIT AND CALLING ME OUT ON MY BULL SHIT THOUGHTS AND IDEAS. WE CAN CALL EACHOTHER ANYTIME OF THE DAY FOR ANY REASON EVEN IF ITS JUST TO SAY IM HAVING AN OK DAY. 

WE HAVE BEEN SPENDING A BIT MORE TIME TOGEATHER THAN REGULAR DUE TO THE FACT IM HELPING HER DEAL WITH SOME ISSUES SHE IS HAVING WITH A NOW FORMER ROOMMATE. AND AS A DIRECT RESULT OF US SPENDING TIME TOGEATHER I AM FORMING MORE THAN JUST FRIENDSHIP FEELINGS FOR HER.

NOW HERES THE CATCH SHE IS INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE IN THE NAVY AND IS POSSIBLY SOON TO BE ENGAGED TO HIM. I AM  HAPPY FOR HER AND AT THE SAME TIME IM JEALOUS OF THE FACT. I WANT NOTHING MORE THAN SHE BE HAPPY AND FOR HER TO HAVE A BLESSED LIFE FULL OF LOVE AND JOY

HERES WHERE YALL COME IN. MY M O  IS TO DO OR SAY SOMETHING TO JUSTIFY TO MYSELF FROM PUSHING HER AWAY. THATS NOT WHAT I WANT WITH HER.  I TRULY WANT TO STAY HER FRIEND BUT DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP THE FEELINGS FORMING THE WRONG WAY. BUT I ALSO DONT WANT TO FALL HARD SO THAT I BECOME A DOORMAT THAT WILL ALLOW HER TO DO, SAY OR USE ME IN ANY WAY. 

SO IF U READ THIS AND U HAVE ANY VALID SUGGESTIONS PLEASE COMMENT ME BACK SO I DONT MAKE AN ASS OUT OF MYSELF AND HURT A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP

2 Comments
  1. jjrocksarizona 14 years ago

    Mike, we live by the principles of honesty. it's time to get honest with yourself and with your friend. it's okay to have feelings stronger than friendship. just don't lose or ruin what you have in this person. which is love and confidence. as Addicts we feel as if we have been rejected all our lives. tell her the truth and see where it goes from there.

     

    JJ

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  2. jjrocksarizona 14 years ago

    MIke, Sheila is right and i was totally off base. sexual behaviour is just another cross addiction from the one we gave up. keeping sex and giving up drugs is like using salt without pepper. you cannot mess up this girls head or heart which obviously belong to another and cannot and will not ever belong to you. are you thinking with the big head or the little head? never think that just because you tell her you love her that she is going to drop what she already has and give into your whims. there is help out there for you. we come into recovery looking for help to get off drugs and do not look at our other behaviors that have added to the problem. without seeking help for your sex addiction you will never be whole.

    we must address all of our addictions through the 12 steps. in step four in the 12 step working guide of NA there is a section on sexual behavior have you ever worked the step? maybe it’s time to stop daydreaming and to start working on your other behaviours that keep you from being totally free. ask God for forgiveness for what you are thinking and then either have your sponsor talk with you about it or just get a sponsor and work the steps. the only way for complete freedom from all your addictions, drugs, alcohol, sex, retail theraphy, cars and what ever else you do for self gratification is to work a complete and throrough 4th and 5th step. the help for you is there but you have to see it in you first. you cannot fix what you think is not broken.

     

    if you want this woman to remain your friend and confidant then you need to let her go and do the right thing. don’t try to get into her head and pants at the same time. if you value your current relationship with her then take the advice that has been given to you so freely.

     

    JJ

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