one thing i could never do on dope was listen to music.  it sucked all the joy out of that art and for that i can truly hate it and what it did to my sense of beauty.  but since getting clean i've dusted off my cds and i've been listening to a lot of old favorites.  

i decided today on a whim to look up the best songs about addiction and see what people had to say.  i was, however, shocked and repulsed to see the same "needle and the damage done" picks spewed out over and over, as if neil young and lou reed had a corner on the rehab soundtrack market.  in my opinion, there are many amazing musicians who have written much better lyrics on the subject, so i was disappointed to see not one of my own favorites mentioned. 

so i thought i'd share MY favorite song about addiction, one that i think really depicts the surreal horror of it.  it's an old song by the birthday party called mutiny in heaven.  i sort of got inspired to put it on repeat after going and seeing nick cave in concert two nights in a row this past weekend.

so here are the lyrics.  please excuse the vernacular, as it is very thick with slang and colloquialisms here, but really there is no way to write this kind of genius in normal english.    

let me know if you can relate!

Mutiny in Heaven, written by Nick Cave, released November, 1983

well ah jumpt! and fled this fucken heap on doctored wings
mah flailin pinions, with splints and rags and crutches!
(damn things nearly hardly flap)
canker upon canker upon one million tiny punctures
that look like…
long thin red ribbons draped across the arms of a lil mortal girl
(like a ground -plan of Hell)
curse these smartin strings! these fucken ruptures!
enough! enough is enough!
(if this is Heaven ah'm bailin out)
if this is Heaven ah'm bailin out
ah caint tolerate this ol tin-tub
so fulla trash and rats! Felt one crawl across mah soul
for a seckon there , as thought as wassa back down in the ghetto!
(rats in Paradise! rats in Paradise!)
ah'm bailin out! there's a mutiny in Heaven! 

ah wassa born…
and Lord shakin, even then was dumpt into some icy font,
like some great stinky unclean!
from slum-church to slum-church, ah spilt mah heart
to some fat cunt behind a screen… 

evil poppin eye presst up to the opening
he'd slide shut the lil perforated hatch…at night mah body
blusht
to the whistle of the birch
with a lil practice ah soon learnt to use in on mahself
punishment?! reward!! punishment?! reward!!
well, ah tied on…percht on mah bed ah was…
sticken a needle in mah arm… 

ah tied off! fucken wings burst out mah back
(like ah was cuttin teeth!!)
ah took off!!!
(rats in Paradise! rats in Paradise!)
there's a mutiny in Heaven! 

oh lord, ah git down on mah knees
(ah git down on mah knees and start to pray)

wrapped in mah mongrel wings, ah nearly freeze
in the howlin wind and drivin rain
(all the trash blowin round 'n' round)
from slum-heaven into town
ah take mah tiny pain and rollin back mah sleeve
(roll anna roll anna roll anna roll)
ah yank the drip outa mah vein! UTOPIATE! ah'm bailin out!
UTOPIATE!
if this is Heaven ah'm bailin out!
mah threadbare soul teems with vermin and louse
thoughts come like a plague to the head…in god's house!
mutiny in Heaven!
(ars infectio forco Dio)
to the plank!
(rats in Paradise! rats in Paradise!)
ah'm bailin out!
(hail Hypuss Dermio Vita Rex!)
hole inna ghetto! hole inna ghetto!
(Scabio Murem per Sanctum…Dio, Dio, Dio)