I am tired…physically, emotionally, and mentally…The last 24 plus hours I have been off schedule..things have been plugging along fairly sucessfully and I missed lunch…was tired and didnt rest, didnt hear a thank you and suddenly my world got fucked really fast…I can tell you I do not remember heading to the house this morning…I dont remember my shower before leaving, eating or anything else…I do remember, standing in the kitchen making "Old Mike" demands and bullshit unacceptable behavior rearing its ugly head…WTF…I not only made her cry…AGAIN…but I was so focused on the small shit I dont have that I didnt see all the big stuff that I have not lost…When I was asked not to move back home…I as a male took it as an insult and a slam to my ever so huge EGO…in hind sight..what a loving gesture by my wife…If I was home I would be drinking…I am not ready to be a dad, (I never have been home or sober enough to be one) or a friend or a husband….I am lucky I get the chance to grow, get better and work towards developing all of those things..I may not ever be ready to go back home…that is a little scary but as my son who is 12 put it…" I miss you dad…but I would rather have you not live here then be DRUNKEN MEAN DADDY…Because you are nice now…." Out of the mouth of babes is the saying i think.  I beieve I have had some mini revalation of sorts…not sure if what it is but it has something to do with surrender and boundries..As my step work evolves…it brings me back in circles…which I find to be facinating…to know that once we get through the steps we get to start them all over again is exciting…or should I say refreshing…eh I know that today I DID NOT HAVE A DRINK! GO Sobriety!