The first this i did when i found out that i have HIV was to call my partner Alvin. I told him about it and asked him if he’ll stay or not. He assured that he’ll stay… For the past 3 years i’ve been so in love with this guy, i can’t imagine living without him. Lately however, things changed. He did reassure me that he’ll stay by my side that day… i was so relieved and happy. But things do change. He changed. I changed. I am HIV positive now and he… he refuse to take the test out of fear of change. He started treating me more of a patient than a lover and equal. He refused to kiss me or even cuddle with me. He denies to being disturbed of fear of getting infected but i know better. He is terrified. He is afraid of me. I cant take it. I had to do something. I decided. I told him that i’m not going to see him without the results and that if he tested negative, i’m going to break up with him. He did nothing. He did not fear loosing me. I was more afraid of getting HIV. Today, while on the graduation ceremony of a friend who i’ve grown to like a lot, he called and told me about a dream he had last time he was in Cebu.I was in a coffin and he was crying. I died and is getting a burial. He was crying… he was afraid…He never told me about it untill now. He said he looked up the meaning in the internet and found out that it’s a dream about a big decision i’m going to make that will change the way we where… is was the death of our relationship. He said he feels that it’s coming true. Well, he’s right. It is. I am going to brake up with him. We’re better off as friends. Love… it’s a complicated thing. I can’t imagine that i’m letting go of something that i’ve fought for for the past 3 years… 3 long years… what a waste.

-I took off my ex’s photo because now i’ve moved on.