After experiencing a seizure in my early teen years, Panic and Axiety began.
I was 13 when I experience a seizure. I was alone , not knowing what it was it didnt fear me. I was a go getter .. never home , always spent time with friends your typical pre-teen.

At the tender age of 13 I never pictured my life at a stand still by 22. Anxiety began shortly after experiencing seizures (caused by adolecence) on a frequent basis. I began to depend upon my Parents more then ever. I was scared to be alone at any time of the day for fear I would experience a seizure and noone would be there to assist me if need be.
After struggling with epilepsy for 3 long years, My seizures became controlled but by this point my anxiety had grew out of control. But not to the extent of not being able to carry on daily activities as a normal teen would do. I would still shop , hang with friends but the fear was always there.

Anxiety followed me like a lost animal trying to find its home. I eventually droped out of school. Highschool didnt seem so important at 17 as it did when I was 19 — I attempted school numouros times with failed attempts. I gave up.

At 18 I couldnt take being home anymore, I needed something more in life , I couldnt hold a job so maybe I would try correspondance or distance education. But again it didnt work in my favor. By 19 – I was beyond annoyed with a bunch of support and CBT behind me , I was able to conquor the world. I started adult education I did this steady for 1 year until I graduated. This was a high point in my life. I felt like I could do anything. This was the year I left the nest, met my fiance , BEGAN FEELING ME AGAIN

This lasted for months. I applied for college, I was in a healthy relationship and I felt untouchable.
In October of 2009 My fiance left Canada and went home , home meaning oceans away from me , Trinidad and Tobago. I was devistated. I felt like I lost my best friend. I slipped back to my old ways slowly while he was away, 9 months of anger , sadness and confusion. I lost my own apartment , my fiance, I dropped out of college and I moved back in with my parents. Life was at an altime low.

When my fiance came back in August 2010 – Things got better again, Not completly better but I felt completed. I had my best friend back. We moved in to our own place, and he moved to Canada to be with me. We got engaged and life was good. But as to my dismay this did NOT last. Although I was with the one person I cared about I was still not myself.
We ended up moving back to my parents because I couldnt be away I missed home to much. (My heart is in the country , I am not a city girl)

Now , here I am. …

Ive been home bound for 7 months, unable to leave my home. The fear is to unbearable. I pulled myself away from things I love doing , (shopping is one of them 😉 )

I have my fiance , and my family — but my anxiety is so bad I refuse to venture out past my comfort zone. I am medicated with the wrong medication. This treats depression (I am not depressed) My family Dr. is a failure.

For now I sit and wait , for a phycologist. One who is willing to come to my home and give me that push I need. My older sister asks me , How can you stay sain in here , I tell her because Im not willing to give up the fight , we are human and surviving is in our nature.

I am not be in perfect health but im in good spirits. I know I can do this , Ive done this before. Its all a matter of time

I WILL kick anxiety's ASS