Constellations

Elpis, July 7, 2017, Anxiety, Depression, 0

I believe in spirit animals and symbols for my family is a prime example. Some are born into it, others change into one later on in life.
This was the case for my mother. When my Grandmother’s body could no longer fight the cancer in her system my mother lost herself. My Mom turned into a fish this late in her life. She thought she could swim in a bottle of colored liquid, but honestly she couldn’t no matter how much she tried. She figured it was better than drowning in her own tears. My father did what any good husband, Dad, or silver back gorilla would do. He stood up for his family when it felt weak. He followed his rules and could be strict about it in order to “protect” the family. But he wasn’t happy. He gave up his life in the jungle long ago to sit behind the steering wheel of a truck. Negative about life; forever missing the jungle. My older sister was born a flower. She sprouted and bloomed so lovely. She learned later on the farther she spread her roots, the more she’d grow. Sometimes even if it wasn’t in her garden. She looked after me and made sure I followed all the things a flower needed to do to survive. But I was not born a flower. What am I you may ask? I’m not entirely sure, but I feel like a compass. Not in the fact that I know where I’m going, because I clearly don’t, but in the sense that I allow others to use me to find their way and then leave me when they no longer need me or want me. I am longing for someone to hold me close. To be just as lost as me, but forever adventure to unplanned places working together as one.

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