Dear Max,

 

Lately i have been thinking about you. I miss you. I miss the way I would rub my face against yours. I miss the way I could walk to you to hug you and just listen to your heart beat. I miss holding your hand in the car while singing along to our songs. I miss waking up in the morning getting ready and leaning over to kiss you and tell you that I love you. I miss you saying thank you to me when I would make you a plate of food. I miss you picking the movies to watch. I miss you laying in bed with me on your phone doing you research on jobs. I miss walking with you.

I spent so much time trying to get you to like me as a person. Or trying to live up to being a person good enough to love you forever. Kind of sucks now knowing all my efforts were kind of wasted. All I ever think about is you nowadays, But i will never go back. Because even though i miss all these things about you I remember that pain of loneliness I can never get over. The one thing I sat in for so long a feeling that creeps up and i shove it away because its still to painful.

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