I am new to this board and want this to work for me…I just dont know how to navigate, unsure what to do…came here looking for a "support group" atmosphere….will try blogging and go from there, I guess.
Two years ago I had a major breakdown and depression. The anxiety made it hard for me to do anything….lost a lot of friends, almost lost my job, thoughts of suicide, etc. I went to counseling and took all sorts of meds, lexapro, well butrin, lorazepam, and so many things, I cant even remember them all. This hell went on for two years…I was lonely, thinking of moving to another city to start life over, but that made the anxiety even worse. I met a man, and moved in with him. Eventually the anxiety went away, I started feeling better about myself, and have started making plans for my future.
4 days ago, I woke up at 3 am with anxiety so bad I couldnt breathe. Thought I was having a heart attack…(you all know the symptoms, I am sure). Saturday was so bad, I bawled all day. Told my signifcant other it was because I was sad that I would be having to put my old horse, my best friend down soon…which is true, but I cant really say that that was the cause of the anxiety.
So for 4 days now, I have been getting up at 3 breathing, and thinking unwanted thoughts…I cant stand to be alone, and am constantly wanting to talk to someone who can identify with this! I dont want drugs again, although I will talk to my doctor today about getting on low dose prozac. That has helped some in the past. I dont know how to g0 about finding a support group in my area….Is there something like AA for this disorder….I like chat rooms, but havent got on one in sooo long….I just dont want to go through hell again! I wont make it this time if I dont get some HELP!
I fervently hope someone will stumble on this blog and offer some insight. It does feel good writing about it….thanks!