I am new to this board and want this to work for me…I just dont know how to navigate, unsure what to do…came here looking for a "support group" atmosphere….will try blogging and go from there, I guess.

Two years ago I had a major breakdown and depression.  The anxiety made it hard for me to do anything….lost a lot of friends, almost lost my job, thoughts of suicide, etc.  I went to counseling and took all sorts of meds, lexapro, well butrin, lorazepam, and so many things, I cant even remember them all.  This hell went on for two years…I was lonely, thinking of moving to another city to start life over,  but that made the anxiety even  worse.  I met a man, and moved in with him.  Eventually the anxiety went away, I started feeling better about myself, and have started making plans for my future.

4 days ago, I woke up at 3 am with anxiety so bad I couldnt breathe.  Thought I was having a heart attack…(you all know the symptoms, I am sure).  Saturday was so bad, I bawled all day. Told my signifcant other it was because I was sad that I would be having to put my old horse, my best friend down soon…which is true, but I cant really say that that was the cause of the anxiety. 

So for 4 days now, I have been getting up at 3 breathing, and thinking unwanted thoughts…I cant stand to be alone, and am constantly wanting to talk to someone who can identify with this!  I dont want drugs again, although I will talk to my doctor today about getting on low dose prozac.  That has helped some in the past.  I dont know how to g0 about finding a support group in my area….Is there something like AA for this disorder….I like chat rooms, but havent got on one in sooo long….I just dont want to go through hell again!  I wont make it this time if I dont get some HELP!

I fervently hope someone will stumble on this blog and offer some insight.  It does feel good writing about it….thanks!

  1. daisycourt86 12 years ago

    welcome to the tribe! this is the place for some awesome support and you will find many people just like yourself. we are all here for each other. I have met many great people on here that have really helped- im on here at least once a day. if you need anything dont be afraid to ask!

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  2. llywater443 12 years ago

    I am going through the exact same thing right now and that's why I joined this site. I need to find someone who can relate, too. Mine started about 4 days ago, too.

    I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder about 7 years ago and I started meds right away because I couldn't even function. They really do seem to help a lot, even though I am on really low dosages. About once a year, maybe more, maybe less, I get hit with a really bad attack that seems to affect me for about a week or so. I can' t eat or drink anything without feeling sick or throwing up, I have diarreha, I am terrified of being left alone; at night I am scared of the next day because I don't want to feel like this anymore, but during the day I am afraid of the night because I worry that I won't be able to sleep or that no one will want to wake up with me.  It is scarier than hell, but I promise it does pass. I go through 3 or 4 days of crying uncontrollably and then it, slowly, but surely gets a little better. I hope today was my last crying day, but I guess I will find that out tomorrow. I ate for the first time tonight since Friday, and in the past, that has been a relatively good sign for me.

    I have tried to do so many things to help control my anxiety, but I have found that talking to family and people that can somewhat understand what I am going through helps the most. Try to play some games on the internet or take a walk in the fresh air. Being outside seems to help me, so it might help you, too. I like to search the internet for pages about anxiety and read stories about others that go through the same thing so I remember that I'm not alone. REMEMBER THAT!!!! You are not alone!!!!! (I am kinda reminding myself, too).

    You will make it through this. I will be here for you to talk to, and don't be afraid to try some medication that you can take as a PRN. You can take it when you wake up at 3 and it will only take about 15 minutes to calm you down. PRN's are definitely not something that you would have to worry about becoming addicted to, especially if you only use them when you need them. I take an extra dose of Clonazepam, which is the generic for Klonopin, and it seems to calm me down a little bit.

    I wish you nothing but the best. If you want to talk more, just let me know. It seems like we have a lot in common. Take care of yourself.


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  3. Jodee63 12 years ago

    Thank you sooo much for answering my blog….it is so nice to talk to someone about my problem.

    This has not happened to me in a long time….so I am feeling like a failure, even though I know it is not my fault….if that makes sense.  i went to the doctor today and got some low dose prozac and some elavil to sleep.  that has helped before.  I get really down in the fall….we have baaaad winters here, and right now we are living in a travel trailer while we build a house, and I am feeling really hemmed in….

    when you said that you go through this off and on, and that you feel  better after a week gives me hope.  I know the meds take awhile to kick in….and thanks for letting me know that it WILL pass…i know that deep down, but I guess i needed reassurance. 

    I hope you will contact me if YOU need anything….I want to develop some kind of friendships/contacts on here and not sure how to do it, but I know reaching out to someone in need helps me a lot.  Please take care…Jodee63

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