My one year anniversery is coming up and I don't know what to do, I've never had one before. I don't know what to get him, I don't know if we should even celebrate it, I don't know if we should just spend that day away from each other as our anniversery present to each other. Last night we were talking about gifts and he said that he already had his gift planned out for me, and I told him that I already had his gifts planned out and that once I got some money I was going to buy them. His gift to me was going to be a tattoo, my gift to him was going to be Land of the Lost on dvd (he loves that movie) and an all you can eat day at Taco Bell (that's his version of heaven). And then I told him that I don't want something expensive, because I'm a lot like my mom in that way, I'd rather have something cheap or average price for myself so that way the extra money can go into savings so that when we need something then we have the money for it. But how he is, is that you get the top of the line when you buy something and then take care of it so that way you don't need to replace it or anything for a very long time. So basically be told me the 2 things that he would really want, a PS3 and Final Fantasy VII, or the all you can eat day at Taco Bell. After that I told him that I want a tattoo but I don't want him to pay for it. So now I guess he's rethinking what he's going to give me, I already told him that I don't want something expensive because then I'll feel bad about it.

But I'm actually really disappointed because I don't have money to go get him things, or even to go do things. After I had told him that I had given up on the relationship he's been acting really good. He's been trying harder at work, he's actually been showing me attention and being really nice. An example, last night he stayed up until 3am to make sure that a movie I really want to see gets downloaded to my computer. The internet crashed so it didn't get downloaded all the way (22%) so he said that he's just going to take me to go see the movie. The thing is, I don't want him to spend money, and the second thing is that I'm getting a bit worried, because he's telling me all these things and usually he says that he's going to get me things but it never happens (like christmas and my birthday; I still haven't seen a gift or anything) so I'm getting excited about all of this but then at the same time I kind of have to sit back and tell myself 'Hey, just because he's changed a bit doesn't mean that he's changed about this. Don't get your hopes up.'

But I really hope I can find a stable job soon, I turned in a bunch of applications and I've been checking on them but so far everyone just says that they haven't been looked over yet.