Dear anybody,
If youve found this it either means your very lonely or very bored. Or are in the unfortunate situation of depression. And have no way out. Thats how it feels. There no way out. If you are reading this then im very sorry. Not only for putting it out there but for boring you with my life. You probably have issues of your own that need help. Well i need help to. I just cant get it. Not from anyone. Or anywhere. What i have to tell someone they are obliged to tell someone else. And if anyone ever found out. I would die. Or just evaporate. The fact that im writing this shows how desperate i am. How miserable i am. If you hve depression i think you might understand. But i don’t even know that i have it. Im just constantly like this. Its easier to give it the name of depression. It sound treatable. I mean so many people have had depression right? It can be fixed. I like to pretend that i could be fixed. Helped. Thats what i rite on my leg. Help. Up high were no one can see. If someone did see they’d think i was mad. But maybe i am. I tried to reach out last night. To someone i use to know. I figured they were far enouh from the situation that i could talk to them. Like Anna use to be. But then she got closer in. Now i cant tell her anything. She’ll hate me. So i told them last night. I didn’t work. They just didn’t get it. No one really ever does. Know i’m even deeper in. They might tell omeone and then ill be more fucked. More than i am now. because people will know and i still wont have any help. Sorry that youve had to read this. That it has been posted. I guess i like to pretend that someone will find it. And care. But thats wrong. No one will find it. Or care.
People do care. Try and get in to see a counselor. Many times they”ve seen the types of problems before, and know how to help, and won”t judge you. Many times we think no one would understand, but there are people accustomed to our type of problem and know how to deal with it.
Dear LIz
Your post touched me, so it seems that I care. And I do.
I red once a story about a man who tried to convince all the others that something was wrong. They did not believe him. After some time, he was so desperate beacuse of his unsucesful tries, so he quit everything. He was just sitting and watching sea. Then, one girl approached him and asked: whats wrong? Wrong?, he asked. Yes, wrong, she repeated, you was so pushy in the last few days, we were all avoiding you, and now, all of a sudden, you are sitting here calmly. Something has to be wrong…
So, my message is that I do not think that things "can be fixed" overnight, and that I do believe that you are "very deep in". But, you can pass trough it, and you will be able to smile again.
I am giving you my support and sending you my best regards…
Liz
if you feel that writing on your leg helps then take that step further and post your message on here. Just by putting out there will ease the burden. I know that each time I open up the second I start to type I feel the pressure lifting from my shoulders. You really will be sharing the load you carry.
quite a few people have found it and quite a few seem to care – just shows you eh