There are so many things swimming around in my head. Both figuratively and literally. I am so tired, emotionally, physically, and mentally that I am not sure how much longer I can hold on. I have burnt bridges on here, so much that I feel like I can’t go back into the chat rooms. I feel like I have burnt my bridge with my therapist. I say the wrong things in the wrong ways and it just seems cruel to me. I bet she doesn't want to work with me anymore. I have two kids who have no idea that every day I pray for a natural death. I have one friend who has the burden of worrying about me or taking care of my children when I can't function. She has her own life and yet I make it impossible for her to separate from mine. I have ex's family in this state that I want nothing to do with, and that is all that is around me. So let me recap from my point of view.

Support system: Friend – burnt out, Family- none online help- burnt bridges

Therapist – client mean and cruel probably wouldn't want back,

Umm Me and I'm tired of doing it all!!

Well I have no one to blame but myself! I am a messed up, split personality, inability to find control, running out of reasons to live, piece of crap human being!

Yeah that pretty much sums it up.