There are so many things swimming around in my head. Both figuratively and literally. I am so tired, emotionally, physically, and mentally that I am not sure how much longer I can hold on. I have burnt bridges on here, so much that I feel like I can’t go back into the chat rooms. I feel like I have burnt my bridge with my therapist. I say the wrong things in the wrong ways and it just seems cruel to me. I bet she doesn't want to work with me anymore. I have two kids who have no idea that every day I pray for a natural death. I have one friend who has the burden of worrying about me or taking care of my children when I can't function. She has her own life and yet I make it impossible for her to separate from mine. I have ex's family in this state that I want nothing to do with, and that is all that is around me. So let me recap from my point of view.

Support system: Friend – burnt out, Family- none online help- burnt bridges

Therapist – client mean and cruel probably wouldn't want back,

Umm Me and I'm tired of doing it all!!

Well I have no one to blame but myself! I am a messed up, split personality, inability to find control, running out of reasons to live, piece of crap human being!

Yeah that pretty much sums it up.  

 

                       

2 Comments
  1. Dakotaa 11 years ago

    I'm sorry you're feeling this way 🙁

    If you ever need to talk, I'm here

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  2. snowdreamer 11 years ago

    sweetie I know what it's like to have no support and things not going right with the therapist and doctor.  I changed therapists so many times but I finally found a good one and she's helped a little but I still haven't confided all my problems to her.  I have ex inlaws all around me too but my ex lied about me to them so none of them will have anything to do with me not that I'd want them too but when I see them when I'm out it still upsets me.  They did me wrong not even asking my side of the story.

    If and when you come into the chat room sweetie look for me I'm usually always there especially at night and we can talk ok?  I'm a good listener and may not have any answers but I can listen….please take care as much as you can darlin…

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