Hi I am writing to you in desperate need of help. I have been living with my boyfriend for almost 8 months now and he is in serious need of help. It is killing me emotionally and physically.  I love this man with all my heart, but he has some problems that I do not know how to deal with or how to help.  I guess my question is to you, what can I do or what are my resources out there so I can help him figure out what's wrong with him and get him the help he needs?  These are just a few of his symptoms…..

Constant mood swings…for a few days he is a happy loving person and has a big heart, but then for no reason  (I haven't figured out what triggers this change) he turns in to an irate, verbally abusive, I don't care I hate the world attitude….he will punch things shove people…there is no telling what he will do…he becomes uncontrolable.  He has no respect for people or himself and he doesn't like to talk or communicate his feelings and he literally will tell anybody or anything in his way to '*uck off.'
He is an alcyholic who has past and possibly current drug abuse – cocaine and marijuana
Most nights he cannot sleep and he has a 'i don't care' attitude.
He tells me that whenever he goes through these "mood swings" and he does the things he does….that he 'blacks' out. I don't know if this is just a cope out or if it is the truth.
He also is not motivated…he has shared with me some of his goals but he takes no action to achieve them….
One day he wakes up feeling like he can conquer the world and the next day he feels like he is nothing but a bum.
He tells me he doesn't know who he is or the point to life and that he has no reason to be here.
He tells me that he doesn't have thoughts of suicide, but that he does wish he would die.

These are just a few of the symptoms he is going through. I desperatly need help. He refuses to see a counselor or a doctor and I don't know what to do.  I can't keep going on this roller coaster…because it is tearing me up and causing a huge hole in my heart. I love this man with all my heart and he needs help. What can I do to help him and maybe get him diagnosed with what the problem is?  Please any help would be appreciated.

  1. thelifeofjade 15 years ago


    well no one here can really offer much more then that he needs to see a dr. He could have a bipolar disorder but the only one who can make that call is a psychiatrist. I dont really know how you could persuade him to go. If he's hurting himself and others the extreme road to take would be to maybe call a psych ward at a local hospital and just see if there are any emergency measures you can take so that he HAS to go. I'm sorry that i'm not of much help but I think that if there was someone I loved and they were going through the same things i'd call a ward that could come and get them. I dont even know if it is possible, to take someone to a hospital against their will.

    I hope that you are able to find some kind of answer and he gets the help it sounds like he desperatly needs.

    Best of Luck,

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  2. Minorbird 15 years ago

    What you are describing is classic Bi Polar behavior. It can be treated with meds but he has to be willing. YOU MUST think about your life, safety and sanity. If he is not willing to receive help you MUST move on even though it is painful. Please do not waist your life on someone who refuses help. It is not healthy for either of you. I truly hope things work out for you. You can leave me messages if you want.

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