Well I spent an incredibly happytime at my mawmaw's house! It was like a 4 day vacation! Actually on the 2nd to last day there I found a baby bird! 2 squirells were going to kill him(stupid squirells) and so my mawmaw and I chased them off and rescued him. Of course I promptly called my mom and asked her if I could attempt to raise him since I had already successfully raised three baby kittens when they were only 2weeks old. She said I could try. We spent an hour on the phone(since we were 2 hours away) online looking to find what kind of bird it waas and how old. Well it was a baby dove and it was about 4 days old. I kept him in a shoebox and named him Wheezy because they can't chirp when they are that young so he sounded like one of those dog toys that can't squeek very well and it comes out sounding like a wheezy whistle noise thing. Yeah so thats why I named him wheezy. I went to the pet store and bought bird formula. I drove the 2 hours back home the next day with Wheezy in his shoe box in the passenger seat- checking on him at every red light. I came home and fed him and went to bed.

I got up at 5:30 a.m. so he could eat. And when I opened the box and unwrapped his nest of blankets he didnt move. So I ran a finger down his back. no movement. so I moved the blanket and no movement. And I realized he was dead. And I ran crying into my moms room so she held me and told me the same thing she had told me when she wasn't sure if the kittens would live and that is that I gave him 2 more days than he would have had. Instead he died with a full stomach and a warm bed and having a loving temp. mommy instead of being torn apart by squirells.

I still cried for an hour and I am still very sad. I knew raising a baby bird would be nearly impossible- shelters and animal places wont even attempt it! But my little 7 year old brother woke up- he had become atttatched to wheezy in a matter of a day just like everyone else.(I was the only one around him for the full 2 days) well my brother came over and hugged me and I swear it was so sweet of him but I hated myself for it because I am supposed to be the strong one.

Well now its been a full 24 hours since wheezy died and I am still very sad because my step siblings left before he died and I see my dad tonight and my mawmaw tomorrow and none of them know. So now everyday I am reliving my sadness. Its really depressing. But mom told me that she saw his crop wasn't going down so he wasnt digesting the food which happens alot with little birdies.

I didn't mean to ramble on about my birdie baby so long. I guess the point is this has taken a toll on me. But I would do it again in a heartbeat because maybe next time I could save one. But this whole week is going to be nothing bu reliving his death. The morning I found him dead I finally got back to sleep but it was only half sleep and every bird chirp sent my heart soaring and brain thinking that wheezy was alive. So this week is going to suck but I know I am supposed to be over it- there was nothing I could do and the chances were never in my favor- but I still think that maybe it was my fault. maybe I did something wrong. So my biggest point: this week is going to be hell.