The sun welcomed me through the thickness of my blinds this morning. I got up late, as my usual custom now. Exhaustion bites rear. Big time. Morning was difficult to get through, but afternoon was almost normal…well as normal as I get these days. Now that it's evening I feel that same dumb anxious, depressed feeling coming over me again. I really don't get it. It's nothing I'm doing. I'm just attacked. I suppose that's why it's a called an "anxiety attack."

I cried last night, my poor family. I feel like a big baby doing all this junk, but that's the last thing I need is to worry about whether I'm acting my age or not. Of course, I don't act my age. I never have. I've tried to make myself grow up–didn't work. I'm still the same immature girl I've always been and I'm not going to make myself change. What is it that Blink 182 says? "I never want to act my age…what's my age again…?" Love those guys, but they do have a point.

Apparently–since I diagnose myself these days–I have low seratonin and dopamine levels because the birth control pill I was on for my cystic acne left me unbalanced in my hormone levels and my chemical levels. Nice right? Some days I hate being a woman. Other days, I'd never change a thing 😉 Anywho…I read up on all that junk and they say that vitamin B6 and B12 can help you make more seratonin. So I've tried taking one B6 today and we're going to see if it begins to make a difference. Who knows?

Also, I've asked on the Forum is anyone (women :/ ) have ever had severe anxiety and depression while on birth control and then as soon as they got off they went back to their normal selves. I didn't get much feedback and I'm kind of discouraged about it. So…still wondering if anyone had experienced or knows someone who has experienced crazy mood disorders while on the pill. It would be nice to talk with someone to know what my outcome may be.