I am so scared and depressed. My eldest moved in with her dad this last June. The weekend before Christmas she got in a fight with her dad and he was going to make her move back in with us because she is failing out of school, talking about drugs to the other kids. She begged him not to make her because she accused my husband of molesting her. Her dad called me to come over but she wouldnt look at me or tell me herself. I dont even know the full alligations.I was told that when i take my night meds he wouldsneak into her room. CSD is now involved with the police. they interviewed my other two children but said they havent been hurt in anyway. In the last month ive lost my daughter and my husband. I am five months pregnant with our fourth child and completely lost. I am scared that they are going to take my other children from me because of my bipolar and meds. I live in fear daily. I have crashed into the worst depression of my life. I cant get my head together. I feel like a horrible mother and hate the idea of bringing another child into this life. I have to get a grip but I dont know how. I spend my days crying and my nights in restless fear of the day. I cant sleep. I have no one to turn to. My family has distanced themselves from me. I have no where to turn to for help. I have relied on my husband for so long I am not sure how I am going to support my children. Ive been looking for work cause I am going to loose the house. But no one wants to hire a five months pregnant woman in her fourties who hasnt worked in seven years. Im so lost, scared, and depressed. They upped my geodon but its not helping. I am trying to go to school but I cant focus on my work. Im not sure im going to make it through this term. Im sinking and if I land in the psych ward ill loose my kids so I have to get this under control. I have to, I just dont know how.
Living Nightmare
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