I worry all of the time. My never is literally never at rest. I ruminate and obsess so much. I have three kids 20, 18 and 16 and there is always something going on. Right now we are dealing with some major issuses with getting my youngests braces off. She has to have major bonding work done to fill spaces that won't close. It has been a nightmare trying to organizeall lof this. We are in the home stretch but all I can do is worry about what could go wrong – either to prolong the process or add to the already HUGE cost of it all. My middle child, son, is going to have his wisdom teeth out the spring. My oldest did it 2 years ago and it was smooth. My neighbor did it over Christmas break and had bone fragments, dry sockets, infections – emergency room visits. Alot of additional appts, alot of pain and alot of extra money spent. Now I worry all the time that this could happen to my son. We are going to try to sell our second home (cottage on west coast of MI) – obsessing about all aspects of that, Can we sell it, can we get enough to cover our mortgage, we have some minor repairs to do before selling – will something major go wrong that will have to be fixed (more time and money), how will I manage all of the organizing, getting rid of stuff, moving stuff out, don't want a lot of junk brought home to our main house as I can't stand (huge obsession!) clutter and messes. My husband has offered to the most of the work involved with the sale, to help me to let go of it mentally – how much will he be gone and can I manage all of the stress and worry at home with him busy with that??? I can't really let go of it mentally because somewhere in my mind I am constantly ruminating over it. Will my kids get summer jobs? If not then they will be coming to us for more spending money and I will have to say no more than I am comfortable with and I will feel guilty and obsess over that…. the list goes on. SOmetimes its obsesing over my yearly mammogram, too many appointments on my calendar and being overwhelmed, moving a kid in or out of the dorm, someone elses doctors appt, not going to the dentist regularly myself becuase I am too scared, having guests come in to town and knowing I can't deal with the clutter and mess of house guests and feeling bad that they can't stay with us – this list could go on forever…. It never lets up . I feel like I am always trying to just barely keep from drowning, always beating off an ugly beast that is gaining on me, I have much to be grateful for and yet I feel like my mind won't allow me to see those things as they are clouded over by the FEAR. I take meds – I have been in therapy many many times and tried complimentary therapies. I get mild relief from these things but nothing has ever been a major success. OF course there are times that are better than others and I am not always in an acute phase of severe anxiety and obsession (as I am right now!!) – but even when it is not super bad and acute – it is always there to a degree. No real deep peace.
Just looking for others who can relate to this, as I know anxiety and obsession is different for everyone. It would be great to have somone to message/talk to that has similar issues. Someone where we could contact eachother when in a bad state and support eachother. Maybe share some coping skills and ideas! And share in the happiness during the good times.
Let me know if anyone would like to connect in this way, Please
Lorrie

2 Comments
  1. Ennuibel 11 years ago

    I recognize your problems, and can somehow relate. I am not a mother ((yet, haha)) however I\'ve been put in a situation to where I had to care for many children constantly because my own parents were too unstable to do it themselves. My sister, my youngest sister, has Cystic Fibrosis- and we go through a plethora of medical bullshit almost every single day. I have to usually take up the burden and instruct my mother on how to properly care for her, but sometimes it just gets overwhelming and I have to step back, take a deep breath, and search for someone who will listen to me rant about the absolute misery that it seems to place me in every once in a while.
    So if you need a person to just listen to you talk about it, or even bring you to some resolve or state of comfort, just send me a message.
    -Beatrice

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  2. lapaull 11 years ago

    thank you

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