I cancelled my therapy session today. I had to so I could meet the movers who were going to take all our stuff to the new apartment. Everything was going well – I felt good about the move and I was happy I wouldn't have to do all the work in the freezing cold, especially since I'm already mentally worn down and I'm not much better physically.

We get everything in the truck, we drive clear out to the new place, I walk up to the front door…and a skinny 50-something man opens it.

"There's no room for anyone here."
"Upstairs? We're moving upstairs."
"No, there's no room, my stuff is still up there, I'm painting. I was told you wouldn't be here until Saturday."

The man was completely rude and not at all sympathetic. Even though we'd talked to the owner and gotten the go-ahead – the owner turned out to be this asshole's own Dad – we were coldly turned away.He was so rude that when he walked away, the moverslooked at me and said, "That guy is a dick". They ended up leaving with all our stuff still on their truck. I'm sitting in my bare bedroom with no furniture of any kind typing this.

After they left, I sat in my car along the road and bawled. I cried all the way home. I thought about drinking, I thought about self-harming. My mind just snapped. I kept obsessing over how we have to be out by 5:45 tomorrow and we really need the place clean so we can get our deposit back. I'm still scared but now I'm so scared and tired that I'm immobile.

I've been angry and upset all day. But a friend came to the rescue and got us another truck to move our stuff with after hours. 🙂