I love my life as of now.  My ocd is almost nonexistent, my husband is amazing, my baby is just perfect, I'm ALMOST finished with school (!! )…it's just so easy to always look at the bad side but I'm trying to reverse that train of thought.  

We are halfway through and I am so excited.  Connor is hitting all his milestones early and is the happiest I've ever seen.  I flew to New York with him and on all four planes I had at least one person tell me they have never seen such a good baby.  I don't know if it's the fact that we raise him in a calm, happy environment or that we are just lucky.  

I just know that the day he was born I would never raise him in the way that I was.  I will give this little angel a happy life, he will never know the pain I knew.  I will always take care of myself and keep on my medicines so I will never lack as a mother.  I don't blame my parents, except of course my step dad (but this isn't about him).  They obviously didn't have the means to treat OCD then that they do now.  

My father is two months sober and I am so happy.  We hang out all the time like we used too.  He's great with Connor.  I know he feels guilt for not being there for me and I am so blessed that he's taking the steps to be there for Connor.  

Now as soon as my husband steps off of that white bus everything will be as it should.  I have never been so blessed.