I don't feel so great today.  I have to say that I've been doing a lot better lately, but I still have my moments…I still get "paralyzed" and find myself unable to motivate myself to do anything.

My boyfriend and I are leaving the big city because I still can't find work.  I'm moving back in with my parents and he is moving back with his.  It hasn't hit me yet that we're splitting up.  I think I'm in denial.  I love him and I love living with him, so this will be hard for me.  I've been trying so hard to get a job in his town so we can live together again, but i've had no luck yet.  It's very discouraging to get rejected like this.  I haven't been able to land a steady job in 2 years.

My friend from high school came to visit me this past weekend.  Sometimes i feel like I'm just a person who is not meant to have friends.  I get annoyed with people…and I feel embarrassed all the time in front of others.  I know that it is unhealthy that I only feel completely comfortable in front of my boyfriend, but I don't know how to change these feelings.  In the city, I don't even like to leave my apartment because of all the people around.  I feel like I have no privacy unless I'm indoors. 

Even though I'm not always happy with my situation, I am thankful for the things I do have.  I have a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend.  I also have supportive parents and a good relationship with my mom.  I miss having a stable life, but I have to believe that things will start working out soon.  I don't know how they can't, I've been trying so hard.