I've been feeling so angry that I feel like I'm being just a total bitch. I'm tired of just letting things happen to me and not saying anything about it, but now it seems like nothing is going to ever be perfect enough. I'm so freaking tired of everything. I feel like maybe I'm just an angry person, and no matter what I do, I will ALWAYS be an angry person….
But, I'm just so confused. I used to be happy… So what's stopping me now? I know that all I need is patience…. or at least, I think that's all I need, but change doesn't seem to wanna come, and I'm getting tired of feeling the way I feel now.
I want to love something again, but I don't ever feel myself loving anything… Is that messed up or what? The thing that bothers me the most is the anger! I never was an angry person. I just don't know who I am anymore.
I feel so hopeless. I just want it to go away!!! I hate it. I hate myself. I mean, I've heard of this happening to other people, but not to me… why did this have to happen to me?
Right now I feel like I'm never going to make friends ever. and I 'm never going to be able to find a man that really wants me, and really loves me. Because how am I going to be able to connect with anyone else, when I don't even feel connected to myself? Life is impossible. I don't see a reason. I'm so lonely, and I can't stand it.
There is absolutely no one to talk, and it's been like that all day today, and the day before, and it'll stay this way tomorrow, and the next day. I just don't know how I'm supposed to handle it…. Things will be better. That's what I keep telling myself. Don't give up. But I don't even feel like I'm alive anymore. I feel like I'm in a dream. I no longer conceive of time. One minute feels like an eternity. I can't sleep. I wish I could just sleep forever….
I hate this label "depression" but that's the only thing that defines me anymore…. Is there any hope left?