When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive….so, I took her to a gas station . . .

 . . . and that\'s how the fight started.

  I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Lite   for $14.95.  Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better than the cold cream at night . . .

  . . . and that\'s how the fight started.
  After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
  apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver\'s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later..

  The woman said, \'Unbutton your shirt.\'

So I opened my shirt, revealing my curly silver hair. She  said, \'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,\' and she processed my Social Security application.

  When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my  experience at the Social Security office. She said, \'You should have dropped  your  pants.  You might have gotten disability, too . . \'

  .  . . and that\'s how the fight started.

  My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high-school  reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
  alone at a nearby table.

  My wife asked, \'Do you know her?\'

  \'Yes,\' I sighed, \'She\'s my old girlfriend. I understand she  took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I
hear she hasn\'t been sober since.\'

  \'My God!\' says my wife, \'Who would think a person could go on celebrating
  that long?\'

  . . . and that\'s how the fight started.

 I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason,
took my order first,  \'I\'ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.\'

  He said, \'Aren\'t you worried about the mad cow?\'

  \'Nah, she can order for herself\' 

. . . and that\'s how the fight started.


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