Well Hello Year 4 of HIV. How are you doing? I'm still here, hanging on and life it seems is not done with me yet.But then again neitherare you Mr. HIV virus. Your friend mr. AIDS diagnosis hasn't made his appearanceas of yet, but then againI'm not sure how I feel about that yet. lol. I'm 35 minutes late in posting this, however….

It was a quiet day by all accounts. The 4 year anniversary of my diagnosis arrived in the same fashion as it's fellow conspirator. My birthday. Even work up early for some strange reason.

So I decided to do something for the community on my Birthday this year. I went up and helped put together the holiday food boxes for my local HIV/AIDS community. Due to the cuts in state funding this may be the last year we get to do the holiday boxes, but hey. Be greatful for what you have when you have it and don't mourn the loss. Instead remember it and cherrish the memory.

No phone calls came in today for birthday wishes. Not even my own family. That much I can almost expect. HEAVEN forbid anyone in my family admit to having an HIV positive family member let alone go out of their way to wish me happy birthday. But TheyWILL be there when my will is read; each member of the family expecting something. Only they willfind out that not a single person in my family will get one single Cent. Turning your back on some one just because they have HIV is heartless. So to that effect: As of today (Lawyer thought I had lost mymind when I called her this morning to alter the will) every penny I have and all of my belongings will go Local Aids Service Organizations upon my death. My family ((can I still call them that even now after 4 years of not hearing from them because of HIV??)) They will throw a fit of course and challange the will, however, it will be a lesson in humility and graceI think. Life is sacred, precious and dear. something that most people never learn until it is too late. It is a lesson that is hardest to learn for those that have abandoned loved ones and family because of HIV and AIDS.

But My cats (Darwin and Lulu) meowed all day long for me and cuddled up to me as if to say: " Dad, we love you, don't worry we are here for you" when I got home this afternoon I popped some sleeping pills and got the obligatory 5 hours of sleep.

It seems strange you know. Considering my birthday and HIV diganosis are on the same day, i can only sit back and wonder what the comming year will bring. I'm still not on medication, but who knows. This monday I have a blood draw. And in Two weeks I'll go up to the VA to see the doctor. Perhaps Mr. HIV Virus will stay just as is. Or perhaps he will Invite Mr. AIDS diagnosis along for the ride. Not sure. Either way Year 4 of HIV has arrived and Year 34 of living on this planet has officially begun.

And I am by all accounts still here. My birthday wish is simple: What grace left to me, what hope, what dreams, what joys… May they pass to others so that a light continues to burn in the darkness to guide us all home. Where ever that home may be.

  1. Author
    yk 11 years ago


    Happy birthday mate…….sorry about family but like you say…..dont mourn about them.. pick the few wonderful moments you had with them..and move on.

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    no 11 years ago

    hi friends ,how ar u?iam looking for friend


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    shyx 11 years ago

    A very happy belated birthday to you.. wishing you all the happiness life has to offer

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    Addman 11 years ago

     Have a happy birthday! Sometimes familys are messed up. Hopefully your family will come around, its there loss. take care anthony


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    livelyintellectual 11 years ago

    Hey doogie,

    sorry about your family… As Anthony mentioned, it is their loss really. And you shouldn't count the years of being positive because there are many more to come nowadays with Mr HIV as a friend. Just celebrate your b-day. Best of luck to you. Stay well. And keep up the good work to help others.

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    beti 11 years ago

    Happy belated Birthday!!Your family has no clue to what they are missing!You sound like a very loving,caring inteligent man!!I have been HIV positive for 17 years now and i also know from whom i got it…he also knew he was positive,he knew that i was a mother of 4 children…they were 12,11,10,and 7 when he infected me.He also "loved" me…or so i was told.I forgave him and put it in God's hands…since me he has infected 2 other women as well…he will have to face judgement one day as we all will.I have been on a good medicatin regiman for the past 10 years and have had great counts and been undetectable for 9 years.I hope that u have a Happy New Year and may it be a HEALTHY one for you as well….

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