he is threating me about throwing my dogs out the window. He said he is calling my son to tell him about his dad killing himself. he is calling me every other moment fighting with me. its 10 am and he told me to get out and i have no where to go. sometimes i belive he is trying to push me over the edge so he can cash in on me.

all i said today to set him off that today was the day my sons father killed himself since 2 pm this after noon it has been non stop fighting.i am trapped no matter what i do.

i cant go anywhere right now, so i am going to put on my combat boots and gloves on and sleep in them if i have to. i am not going to be caught off guard

i have my doctors appoinment on monday. i dont know if i can hold out that long. i have to go so i can beat this anixity so i stop getting sick so i can go outside so i can work so i can take care of myself so i can pay for my bills so i can be safe and not worry about sleeping on boots and kevlar , so i know my dogs are safe. i am sick outside and i dont feel safe inside. he wont stop.

people say anixity if when you fear people. it has nothing to do with fear. it is being overwelmed with everything all the time nonstop over and over and over and over.

i just packed my gear if i need to run, the dogs are going on their cage for their safety. My boots are on and am fully dressed.

just think before his wig out i had made him cookies and for 7 hours i was making him a pork roast for a specail dinner. . a half hour before the roast is done it came out so i can be ready to flee if need be. i also put a pair os sissors though the vailtine candy i got him.

christmas the tree went out on a day before christmas eve.

i have to get out of here and i have to get better to do it.

before him i had half a million now i dont.

never get stuck like me