I am new to this… so I guess I will try and post daily. I have been going through some anxiety and fear lately. It was obsessive thinking about "what if" and had so many thoughts running through my head. This was about a month ago, but lately I have been feeling much better. I found some books on anxiety and also seeked therapy, since my insurance covered 6 free sessions. I was happy about that. I honestly think the books I have been reading have been helping me more than the therapist, but she is pretty helpful. She does not give me as much feedback as she should. I know she's there to listen, but some feedback would be nice. I was having thought of "What if I develop a mental illness one day". It's one of my biggest fears, since my aunt and uncle have it. It never used to bother me before but then I got my blood work from my endocronologist and it said my cortisol and prolactin levels were high, so I searched the web and found that it could be Cushings Disease, so I even had an MRI done on my pituatiry gland. I was readings symptoms of the disease and it said if you don't treat it , it listed "death & psychosis" on there so right away my thoughts went to the worse and figured that since I have family hx that it's going to happen to me. Before I was okay with my aunt and uncle and their illness, I love them and still do, but it just scared me so much. I immideatily jumped to "I would lose my friendships & my relationship with my bf ". I let it get to me, and my anxiety got really bad, that I thought about this fear all day every day. I just have to accept the illness runs in my family, just like every family has their own illness, and I need to move on with my life and not focus on things I cannot change, but focus on the things that I can. Now that I started feelings alot better, it almost feels a bit weird to go back to my old state where I was not anxious, almost like "I never thought it was going to go away ", so I guess I am still in shock that it had happened to me, the anxious stage, so now I just have to learn how to relax.