I'm going to talk about a forbidden subject…well forbidden in my world anyway. At my age, it's rare and definitely weird to admit that I've never been on a date, never been kissed, never had a boyfriend. The discouraging thing is people have been telling me how beautiful I am my entire life–I know I'm an attractive woman. I'm not arrogant or showy. I know that God gave me certain facial and physical features that made me attractive to the human race. Of course, I believe that every human being is beautiful and as humans we're too limited with our minds to see that. Naturally, not too many people share this point of view—
I'm rambling and getting off subject.
Anyway, I know men find me attractive. I have a good personality, smart, decent, outgoing. So the thing I don't get is what about me don't menlike? I'm good enough to gawk at, but not good enough to date? Even looking for friends I find that other women just don't want to give me the time of day.
Now as a child and teenager I was told I was weird a few times–but in a positive way. Yes, I'm creative. Yes, I tend to be very random. But does that make me difficult to be around? I'd really like to know how the rest of the human population feels and communicates. What is it that they all share that they can just group together and have friends? What is it that they all share that they can all find a "special someone" to be with?
Like I said, I'm beautiful, but I've never been perfect. So it's not like I stand out that much from other people. I had severe acne my whole life so my skin is a little scarred, but nothing dramatic.
Bottom line, tomorrow I'm visiting my Uncle's church and I'm worriedabout potential "new people" that I'm going to be introduced to. I'm worried that I'm going to leave whatever impression on them that I apparently leave on the rest of the human population. *Sigh*
Maybe I am too weird.