Ya know by know I am clearing  bit of the wreckage of my past.  And yeah it is a slooooow process with a bunch of red tape and self building……

I say self building cause of the surroundings I am in are clean but far from serene. My roommate has a heart of gold and is helping a young addict try and get into rehab.  In the interm of his waiting for a spot he is disrupting the house and its workings.  He has had the kitchen tied up for about 6 days now and has moved into the living room with a paint brsh and roller. I have eaten but really cooked what is in there for dinner…..

   Now back in the day I would have already snatched him out of his skin.  And as much as i really really would like to hurt him I can't.  The program kicks in and i realize he a sick and suffering addict that dont know better. I give him the best advise I can  " that is to stay out of my way" Cause you see here is how i look at it  "But by the grace of god there go I" I am here and will talk but not till he is serious enough to want help. I listen to every thing he says when He comes to me in pain but his Ignorance is his worse nightmare.

   Now as much as I hate to say it I am right where I am suppossed to be…….. for unknown reasons this is a part of my process.  The key is dont look back and keep moving forward. This has giving me opertunity to grow in ways obviously needded….And this burp in life with roll out. And the aftertase of these days will come in handy some day.. So I put these experiences in my tool box to know i to can face life on life's terms.

 As far as red tape I have to go through hoops and over hurdles just to get bad news… That means I am stuck here longer..  I planned to go back to Tampa however, do to some unknown reason I lost the desire to return there. I am not sure where I will land. I heard Oregon is nice…. I can tell you it is verycomforting to know where ever I go I can find my brother and sisters of n a… STAYING CLEAN ONE DAY AT A TIME PAYS OFF IN WAYS BEYOND ONES DREAMS….. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO ACCEPT THE PROCESS, AND LEARN PATIENTS

 

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