I… My girlfriend broke up with me and well I dono, I feel great but at the same time I'm sad about it… After examining it, it was a really toxic relationship and I feel selfish saying that I know I was the one who was abused in it…

I have a hard time trying to do things I used to find fun because I just think of her and this stupid fucking thought of YOU'RE LAZY or WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SCREW AROUND AND PLAY GAMES??!… and I thought long and hard… I don't do those things that often and when I did it was my reward for getting through that week, and now It infuriates me and I can't do it.

We broke up this friday and I had stayed completely calm throughout the whole talk which took 10 minutes… I went to meet her in the city because I thought we could work it out…I took a 3 hour train ride and I stood in the rain for 2 hours before she came along, she drove into the city (such a stupid move)… so she pulled up and opened the door and I stepped in and sat there. We talked… for 10 minutes, she was not going to give me a second chance or anything of it… I stayed calm and didn't raise my voice while she was screaming her head off. I realized at that moment… she was nothing but a scared child who didn't know what to do so all she could do was throw a tantrum and bare her fangs to scare me…and well I had none of it. I spoke the truth, I know it was a little harsh but the last few lines were, <my name> I've worked harder than you have, you don't understand how hard I work… and I looked at her, she clearly has never listened to me when I told her of my past…

I crawled from the depths of a ghetto to pay for my own college schooling, to support myself, to make sure I could stand on my own feet and support someone if I had to… I had had enough… I turned to her and said simply "I have worked harder than you and you will never work the same amount even if it took your entire life" so i got told to get out of the car and I got out of the car and said I will always love you..I turned my back and walked away…(Yes, I know… I'm an idiot and a hopeless romantic).

I felt a pang in my heart… yea I was hurt but at the same time I thought "I'm free…" It will be a long while before I go looking for something else, atm I think I'm going to focus on myself and strengthen myself….

I'm free…. and it will never happen again…. I will not be abused…