I am writing with the hope my story will help other mothers going through a similar situation. I am a 44 year old mother of two girls ages 9 and 10/2. I have struggled with alcohol addiction for most of my adult life. Not only did it cost me various relationship, interpersonal, occupational, and legal issues but most importantly it cost me my children. My ex-husband, their dad, took full-custody of them because I was unfit mother.

My drinking became a habit as a way to comfort emotional pain and discomfort. It became to go to weather I was happy, sad, stressed, or frustrated for any reason. Addiction is cunning in that even though you may realize what you are doing is wrong it doesn’t register often times until many things start going wrong, and even then it can be very elusive. I landed in jail, got a DUI, lost my job, my self-respect, my marriage, relationships and lastly but most importantly the two beings I love most in this world, my children. It was not until this happened that I finally decided to ask one more time for help. I had been to 2 rehabs int he past and remained sober for a while but then would relapse. I figured I was ok or better now so I could drink. Well, that has never been the case. With drinking I always would end up drinking to excess and eventually, sooner or later, major bad stuff would happen usually because my reason would go out the door and justify my poor behavior at the time to later regret it and carry much shame with me.

I ended up admitting myself to Narcanon Inpatient Program which ultimately gave me a whole new perspective and lease on life. This was not like the other 12 step programs I personally had failed at. This program has given me a sense of personal control, accountability, and being causitive over my life instead of reactive. I was able to get my health back going through an intense sauna and vitamin program, grieve losses I’ve carried for years, and focus more on the hear and now.

I am now able to take steps towards regaining my life back and peace of mind. I’m working on fostering respect for myself and that from others in addition to trust. And the best part is I am working towards getting my kids back again. I speak to them weekly on the phone and they hear it in my voice how I’m changing for the better. I’m restoring trust again with those around me. It feels great!

My hope is that someone will read this, perhaps, another mother, and this will help you to know help, hope and change are possible. There is a way out of the misery and here’s how I am doing it. Today I wake up and go to bed around the same time, exercise almost every day, am pro-active daily on personal goals, socialize weekly with others, and am finally feeling good about myself. Keep doing what works and see whats not working and change it. If I can you can too!