Why are you important?  Very early in recovery, my sponsor, George, asked me this question. I immediately resonded, "I'm not." He told me I was, but to think about it and get back to him. As I did this over the next few days, I came up with quite a few reaasons why I might be important. Sadly, I excused them as bull primarily because I related them to being a son, brother, or father. Three titles I had failed terribly in. As in many cases, my family took the brunt of my addiction. I stole from everyone close to me. I avoided all of them. I felt I could have been important to them but my use of alcohol and herion had reduced me to being nonessential to their lives. I really was barely in their lives. Guilt, shame and embarrassment were in full swing. A week later I told George, really "I'm not." I explained my thoughts on the subject. He understood but told me to step outside thoughts of just my family. Well, my success with answering this question was not going to be a simple task. The next week when he asked me again, I told him, "I don't know". George said, "Well that's a step in the right direction." That irritated me and I snapped back, "O. K., why am I important?" George simply replied, "why didn't you ask me that two weeks ago?" We've had many discussions about why, even as an addict, I am important and I would happily share that at another time. What he really was trying to get me to understand was that, I can't fix me. I really still thought I could figure this addiction thing out and handle it. Well, I created this addict, I stole from my Mother's purse, I left my children behind to find dope. Up to this point in my life, everytime "I", started a sentence, what followed was a disaster. Now, "I" have to ask for help with many facets of my life from my friends in recovery, George and, of course, God. I can't explain the impact another's point of view can have on my decision making process. I don't always take adice, I'm human, but I do ask for it.

Thanks George.

Alan

 

2 Comments
  1. henryb3 7 years ago

    Although I have not had a affair with heroin I do know the hold crack cocaine had on me.I can imagine herion being many times worse.Trying to understand the drug I have watched others who were on it as they nodded off.In my mind I asumed that it was much like a vivid nice dream much like having a good dream only to wake up to the nightmare of how and when you can escape life again in the dreamscape of the next fix.I have learned no addiction is easy nor can be overcome alone.This blog shows the importance of sponsors or others who care.Others who understand unconditionaly and those able to forgive and someone to lean on for all the right reasons.Thanks for being a friend.I am here for you so just let me know when.

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  2. henryb3 7 years ago

    Although I have not had a affair with heroin I do know the hold crack cocaine had on me.I can imagine herion being many times worse.Trying to understand the drug I have watched others who were on it as they nodded off.In my mind I asumed that it was much like a vivid nice dream much like having a good dream only to wake up to the nightmare of how and when you can escape life again in the dreamscape of the next fix.I have learned no addiction is easy nor can be overcome alone.This blog shows the importance of sponsors or others who care.Others who understand unconditionaly and those able to forgive and someone to lean on for all the right reasons.Thanks for being a friend.I am here for you so just let me know when.

    |
    0 kudos

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