I am not in contact with some people by choice and did so based on my decision overall  to live the best life I can by removing people who were toxic me.

Yesterday, I was informed that one of my friend’s husband’s told her that he found one of “the above listed people” as a good person.  He disagreed with my decision and said I was a “bad person” for ceasing contact with her.

My reaction? It isn’t his place to validate my decisions nor do I care what he thinks.  I trust myself to make the best decisions for me.

I am assuming that friend went to her husband and asked his input on the character of “this person” (who he has met briefly a few times.) Her husband has very “black and white thinking” and many narcissistic traits.  I don’t value his input on anything.

What did I say to friend as a response to her husband thinking I was wrong for opting to not be friends “that” person anymore?

I told my friend that he had the right to his opinion however it doesn’t impact mine at all.  Based on what he knows about her, I should say “how little he knows”,  it makes sense that he would see the situation the way he does.  It is okay.

I feel sad for my friend for even thinking that her husband’s input on a situation that he knows nothing about would mean anything to me.

I can’t imagine going to my husband with “everything” needing his validation and seeing his opinion as “golden and wise.”

The fact is that not everyone will view others as you do and that will never change.

We will all make decisions that not everyone else would of made and that is more than okay as well.

I hope that my friend realizes this someday.  I hope that she gains confidence in her thoughts, convictions, opinions and protecting herself from people who are toxic to her.

She, at one time, was pressuring me to me be friends with “that” person after I cut contact with “her.”

I already told her that I didn’t want contact with “her” and when I moved, I didn’t give “her” my new address or phone number.

Friend gave this person my contact information.  “She” contacted me.  I had a conversation with “her” since I was put on the spot and also knowing it would be the last one.  I was “done.”

I hope that friend someday  realizes that other peoples opinions and feelings are valid even if everyone may not understand.

Yesterday, friend reached out “her” asking if she had heard from me to find if she had figured out that she was blocked on my phone.

My reaction to this is puzzled.  I thought that she was opting to be friends with “her” and that is fine but why bring it to her attention that she may be blocked or I am not responding to her texts or calls.  It seems unkind of her to do this to the person.

I suspect friend is married to man with narcissistic traits and from spending time (many years) with him has picked up on some his negative traits.

Friend tried to defend reaching out to “her” asking about me.  I didn’t get angry with her.

It doesn’t matter.  She can say what she wants to anyone and be friends with anyone she wants and it is okay.  It has nothing to do with me.

Why bring me into her wanting if “she” notices she is blocked and I am not in contact with her? It is question for friend to answer.  It doesn’t reflect well on her though.  Either “she” knows about cell phone blocking and being ignored or not, nothing was gained from what she did.  It is all on her.

Oh, yesterday she asked me yet again if I was willing to be friends with “her” again.  I said no.  I am not changing my answer.  I don’t see what friend is trying to gain.

I told her she can be friends with whoever she wants and the same is true for me.  I do not care about what her husband thinks of me making decisions for myself.

What is bothering me is I don’t see what friend was trying to achieve by her actions.  Perhaps I am too close to the situation to see it objectively.

However, I will continue to protect myself from toxic people.

The question is my friend becoming a toxic person or she is already a toxic person and I just don’t see it yet?

Thanks for listening!